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lolatprolife:

tabloid-lover:

jamietheundeadamerican:

iwillmindfuckyou:

kneel-on-nails:

forever-kitten:

Damn son our uterus stretches like 5x the size and then contracts and pushes a 7 pound baby out of a small tube into life if you think that isn’t metal as fuck get out of my face

YOUR ORGANS THOUGH IM SO SORRY LADIES

damn selfish babies taking up all the space

NAW MAN, LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU ABOUT PREGNANCY AND BABIES, ALRIGHT?

FIRST OF ALL, IT SUCKS DICK. FIRST OFF LET ME GIVE YOU A MOTHERFUCKING RUNDOWN ON WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T EAT OR DRINK WHEN YOU’RE PREGNANT.

  • SUSHI
  • EGGS
  • NO UNCOOKED ANYTHING IN FUCKING GENERAL ACTUALLY. AND ESPECIALLY NOT FISH.
  • ANYTHING WITH CAFFEINE IN IT, WHICH INCLUDES COFFEE, SODA, CHOCOLATE (THAT’S RIGHT, NO CHOCOLATE), SEVERAL TYPES OF COOKIES AND CANDIES, AND ENERGY DRINKS.
  • VEGETABLES AND MEATS THAT ARE RICH IN NITRATES LIKE HOTDOGS, SAUSAGE, LETTUCE, SPINACH AND CELERY.

SO BASICALLY IF YOU’RE USED TO EATING OR DRINKING ANY OF THOSE THINGS YOU BETTER BE PREPARED TO QUIT COLD TURKEY THE SECOND YOU GET PREGNANT.

NOW I’M NOT EVEN DONE. YOU SEE THAT PINK UPSIDE-DOWN TRIANGLE BELOW THE BABY’S HEAD? YEAH? THAT’S YOUR BLADDER. BABIES SQUEEZE DOWN ON THAT LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW AND ONCE YOU HIT THE THIRD TRIMESTER, YOU BASICALLY HAVE AN ELDERLY PERSON’S BLADDER. MY MOTHER TELLS ME SHE HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AT LEAST 6 TIMES A DAY JUST SO SHE WOULDN’T WET HERSELF. ALSO WITH A BABY SQUEEZING’ UP AGAINST YOUR FUCKING INTESTINES LIKE THAT SAY HELLO TO CONSTIPATION NATION, EVERYONE.

SO NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE THE BLADDER AND BOWELS OF AN OLD PERSON, BUT THAT GROWING HUMAN BEING GROWING OUT OF YOUR GULLET ALSO PUTS A HUUUUGE STRAIN ON YOUR BACK. NOT TO MENTION IT’S A PAIN IN THE FUCKING ASS TO MOVE ANYWHERE, SINCE YOU NEED TO START WALKING LIKE SOMEONE OUT OF A MONTY PYTHON SKIT JUST TO GET AROUND EFFICIENTLY. ALSO THAT ADDED WEIGHT MAKES YOUR FEET ACHE SOMETHING AWFUL. SO WHAT CAN YOU DO?

WELL GUESS WHAT. YOU CAN’T TAKE ASPRIN. ABSOLUTELY NO ASPRIN. NO IBUPROFEN, NO NAPROXEN NO NOTHING. 

SO NOT ONLY ARE YOU IN PROBABLY THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE YOU WILL EVER BE, BUT YOUR MEDICINE CHOICES ARE EXTREMELY FUCKING LIMITED. (AND NO, I MENTIONED NO CHOCOLATE EITHER.)

DO YOU GUYS NOT REALIZE THAT THE FATE OF SOCIETY AND THE HUMAN RACE IN GENERAL IS BASED ON THE FACT THAT WOMEN MOSTLY CHOOSE TO GET PREGNANT? FOR LITTLE TO NO REWARD?! THE UNITED STATES ONLY GIVES 12 UNPAID WEEKS OF MATERNITY LEAVE ON AVERAGE. 

YOU WOULD THINK THAT THE FUCKING PROCESS BY WHICH OUR POPULATION CONTINUES TO GROW WOULD BE FUCKING REWARDED AND CELEBRATED, NOT SWEPT UNDER THE FUCKING RUG LIKE A PIECE OF FUCKING DUST.

/RANT OVER

Greatest rant ever.

But nah, pregnancy is just an “inconvenience”

-Katey

steveholtvstheuniverse:

missespeon:

nosdrinker:

tomlinsonunicorns:

wait but i hate how no one actually talks about this. the man in that sauna is the only adult there. he was the father to that family. but no, we all knew that the shop owner was the father of that family because he said “yoohoo family”, referencing them as his family. but no one pays attention to this. guys, frozen had a gay couple. with a family. and there were so many amazing things about this movie that no one talks about ho frozen openly promoted gay marriage and gay families. i know that we argue a lot on tumblr, but i think we can all agree that this movie is the best thing that has ever happened to disney.

is that what you think “openly promoting gay families” is

like. i mean. even so, there’s an adult woman in there who could easily be used to diffuse any of that shit.

Okay, let’s hear this from Disney’s actual statement about LGBT representation and how this is totally what was presented on the screen.

But they wouldn’t openly ANNOUNCE that kind of thing right? It’s up to interpretation right? I mean, it’s not like OTHER companies have set out to make sure that everyone knows their stance on LGBT matters-

But HEEEEEEY good for you, Disney, for featuring two seconds of a character that MIGHT be interpreted as gay despite the fact that there is no evidence clearly stating so and that it could easily be disproved by that fact that the female could very well be the man’s wife.

TAKING SOME REAL RISKS HERE.

(Source: arendellekingdom)

thewinterizzy:

All twelve Emmys nominations for Sherlock: His Last Vow:

Outstanding Television Movie - (tba)

Outstanding Casting for a Miniseries, Movie or a Special - Fargo

Outstanding Writing for a Miniseries, Movie or a Dramatic Special - WON!

Outstanding Cinematography for a Miniseries or a Movie - WON!

Outstanding Costumes for a Miniseries, Movie or a Special - American Horror Story: Coven

Outstanding Directing for a Miniseries, Movie or a Dramatic Special - Fargo

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or a Movie - WON!

Outstanding Music Composition for a Miniseries, Movie or a Special (Original Dramatic Score) - WON!

Outstanding Singe-Camera Editing for a Miniseries or a Movie - WON!

Outstanding Sound Editing for a Miniseries, Movie or a Special - WON!

Outstanding Sound Mixing for a Miniseries or a Movie - Treme

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or a Movie - WON!

SEVEN WINS. WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE.

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